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| Insomnia-mania continues...
Joy Joy exhaustion...Life exhaustion...u...g...h...
Just four more days until JoyJoy is over... | | |
| Insomnia-mania
I don't think it's just Jet Lag. I think it's just Life Lag that keeps me awake till the wee hours and nudges me awake in the middle of the night. Whatever it is, I'm awake now and it's becoming a regular event. I guess it could also have been the Dr. Pepper I drank, but that wouldn't really explain the 100mph brain activity. I love LA. I hate insomnia.
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| So, a few weeks ago I was listening to this radio show on iTunes that my friends recommended to me called Speaking of Faith. People from all kinds of different religions are interviewed and talk about what they believe. It's FASCINATING to hear what some people believe. I just enjoy learning about stuff like that.
Anyway, a few weeks ago I was listening to an episode with a lady who talked about this history of doubt. Basically, what it seemed like to me is that she had assembled a list of people in history who she considers doubters because they went against the grain of what was commonly believed when they were alive. (Personally, I think it's a kind of attempt to create a community, a history and a sense of tradition for herself to try to justify her point of view because I doubt, hehe, that all the people she references would necessarily label themselves or include themselves in the group she does. But that's not the point I wanted to make.)
So one thing she said was something along the lines of not wanting to or being unwilling to believe that if there was a God, that He wouldn't just tell everybody individually of His existence and that He would only tell a few specific individuals in history and leave it to the rest of us to take their word for it.
So, of course there's an involuntary pang at the suggestion that the ways of the Sovereign of the universe are somehow lacking. Obviously, God can choose to do things any way He likes and I think it can be logically argued that the way He chose to do things is not only the BEST way but possibly the also the ONLY way. So I set myself to the task of trying to run my mind along the logical reasoning as to why God's chosen way of revealing Himself is superior to all other possibilities. Well, I guess I didn't, nor could I consider ALL OTHER possibilities, but I did set my mind to comprehending the superior qualities within the way He has chosen to reveal Himself.
So, if we reduce this issue down to it's core, that is, kind of set aside all of the physical Creation for a second, the issue is how does an incomprehensibly amazing God receive the voluntary praise, adoration, service and enjoyment He deserves from the sentient, rational willful beings He created who have turned against Him? Now, of course, in our sin and depravity, we don't have the power within ourselves to believe Him and turn from our sin and we need the Spirit to do that work in us. I'm not trying to exclude that in anyway. BUT, thinking rationally about it, I think that the Gospel, being transmitted through the writings of witnesses and prophets and individuals who believe DOES in fact in a sense strip away the Creation and reduce everything to reasoning. Isaiah said, "Come, let us reason together." The world gives it all context and a place for us to concretely see and experience God's grace in personal, concrete ways. And of course, tied in with revelation IS the Creation as a way to comprehend and understand God's existence and His power, which again appeals to our rational faculties. But everyday life in the Creation seems to more often distract and divert our attention to the material and finite, rather than the eternal, to the point that God's message is made to look like foolishness.
So, God could reveal Himself by speaking to each person individually. Or He could just appear to the world all at once, or periodically, or regularly. But, isn't that kind of, well, almost degrading? It's not as though God hasn't left Himself a witness (the Creation) and it's not like He's holding back (He went as far as to give His only Son). The way He did choose puts on full display the foolishness and irrationality of our own sinful race. It also demonstrates His patience and wisdom beyond anything we could ever imagine ourselves. And the fact that we do exist and have rational and moral capabilities is enough that it should cause us to seek Him and lead us to Him, at least in a general sense. Why should He have to condescend (at all, really) to say to each of us individually in some sort of personal appeal to our senses, rather than to our intellect, that He exists and what the truth is? The result in many people wouldn't be any different than their reaction to way through which He is revealing Himself now.
And besides, one of the remarkable things about using broken earthen vessels to pass along His message is that through the process of obeying the message and telling it to others, we become and must become the people He wants us to be. It's like the method of revelation itself is the means of discipline for the Saints. We have to, more and more, understand the message and it's implications in our daily life, as the world constantly shouts the opposite at us, and then we have to exercise the courage and discipline to practice it all. (Not to suggest that it's aside from His power.)
Anyway, those are basically the thoughts that I came up with.
What do you think? | | |
| Counting My Pessings...
So, I had to ask my roommate tonight whether or not he thought I was a pessimist. (Please vote below.) To my relief, he said no, that he doesn't see me as a pessimist so much as a realist. I hope so. It seems like I've been too negative lately, but at the same time, while there are lots of good things going on, it just seems like there are some pretty major unpleasantries. And it seems like I've taken to employing the word "Ugh" on a more frequent basis than ever in the past. Ugh. What's wrong with me? I guess it's just one of those seasons. Some seasons are sunny and carefree, some are rainy, others it's like you fall flat face-first onto the gravel and just sort of slide down a big hill, scraping along, and as you pass by some people you get (pardon my use of a spurious expletive past participle) shat on. Sometimes repeatedly. Some people actually run on ahead of you just to get you again as you pass them by the second or third time. I guess there are just some days, or seasons, where it's like you have to grab yourself by the hair to lift your head up and see where you are, but then you're just like, "huh?" because you can't seem to make sense of where you find yourself, so you're just like, "Why?" That's where I'm at. Wheezing out a "But why?" like Mathesar in Galaxy Quest when he finds out that it was all just a TV show. I don't know what that season is called. For some it might be the Job season, but I'm not righteous enough to fit that category. For some it might be LOST Season 3 with the polar bear cages and all the dark inner workings of the Others. For others it might be their El Guapo Season. I think that's what it is for me. My El Guapo Season. At least my El Guapo is not a big dangerous guy who wants to kill me. So I guess it's time to do the Amigo Salute and hit the hay. Sorry for yet another post at the end of which I have to apologize for.
(But do you like how I was able to cleverly work in references to two classic comedies with basically the same plot line only one takes place in Mexico and the other in space?) | | |
| The BeeGees...
I don't really listen to the BeeGees all that much, or at all, but I know there songs. I did listen to one of their albums a couple months ago when some friends and I were driving somewhere. But aside from that, I really don't come across them that much. So it's been really hard to figure out why about halfway through my showers EVERYDAY I realize the BeeGees songs are going through my head. Of all the random things! It's usually Night Fever. Again, of all the random things. I don't know ANY of the words besides "night fever, night fever". FINALLY I figured it out. Here in Japan EVERYTHING is electronic, even the plumbing, and EVERYTHING makes noises. When you press the button to turn on the electric water heater controls, it makes this little "boodlee" sound and it sounds like this weird part of Night Fever which had cought my attention last time I listened to the song.
So, anyway, finding out the source of the issue has done nothing to stop it or make it less annoying. It just comes closer to making sense now. I need to get one of those shower radios or CD players and spare myself from the inevitable disco-induced madness to come. | | |
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